Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Update in 2006

In my family, we ate pork and sauerkraut for good luck on New Year's Day. My mother-in-law gave us creamed herring this year for the same reason. I don't care for either dish, and so I refuse to eat them, but I am hoping for some good luck this year. Admittedly, 2005 was the luckiest it gets. Not only did I get pregnant out of the blue after lots of dead-end trying, but we got 2 of 'em. It's hard to imagine anything better. However, we parted 2005 not sure whether we were still in the good graces of Lady Luck, what with November and December being quite touch-and-go.

J continues to be alert and feed well. He's still getting epogen. I don't know his current hemoglobin level, but judging from his behavior I doubt it's significantly lower than before. He is still pretty yellow, however, which remains a concern. Also, we are still wrestling with the cause of all of this. Tests are still out, and there are some tests that can't give conclusive results until he is older. Hopefully it is something inexplicable that will just resolve itself or it's nothing serious.

The only other problem I can see right now is that he still doesn't feed well from a bottle (of expressed breast milk). He does okay sometimes but will often gag and choke, leaving him trying to work things out of his windpipe well after he's fed - sounds that are horrible and therefore worrisome to listen to as a parent, let me tell you. Why not breastfeed him exclusively, you ask? Well, if I have to go somewhere he has to have a bottle. Also, with 2 babies it's helpful if Daddy can feed them sometimes. And lastly, swallowing coordination is part of his development and shouldn't be ignored (that, from my sister who is a speech pathologist - they are the ones who do swallowing assessments and therapies). But all in all we are pleased with his current behavior. And he is soooooo cute, still with the fat cheeks! His brother is very handsome too. We keep saying that we don't know how we ended up with 2 such cute little guys!

SP went back to work yesterday, fulltime. It is harder here with 2 hands instead of 4. Nights are harder too because I'm already tired from the day. However, I think once I get used to being home with them it will get easier. They're still pretty easy, compared to other descriptions I've heard from other women of life with infants. Knock on wood. Decreasing the extreme level of worry I'm still experiencing for J would also help to make the day pass more calmly. I hope that will come with time.

I have lost 35 of the 50 lbs. without trying and have plateaued at 15 lbs. to go. Nursing twins helps I guess, but I think it's going to be slow-going now. Speaking of nursing, I have come to the conclusion that I am actually making too much milk, or I have an overactive letdown. I won't go into detail at the moment as to why I think it's so, but picture your nipple as a frequently flowing, far-reaching fountain or fire hydrant and you'll get the idea. Too much of a good thing is better than too little, but the babies may be filling up on foremilk too quickly, not getting optimal nutrition (though there's no doubt they're gaining weight!). In addition, I don't think the rapid, uncontrollable flow of milk is helping J learn to coordinate his swallow. I've been reading suggestions of how to help the situation, and I'll also probably hire a lactation consultant to help me.

Last on this update, I resolve to write about some other things than child-rearing craziness in 2006. If not for you, I need to know that there's more going on in my mind and life than the endless details of baby care-giving. It's hard to get outside of that obsessive, concentrated mode of thought when you are suddenly responsibly for 2 little people who can't talk yet to tell you what they need. This blog will hopefully help me get outside of that once in a while. -Not to say that there won't be a lot of baby posts, but you gotta have a goal, right?


Anonymous bri said...

I never thought about the possibility of too much milk - interesting.

I am glad that things are going OK, but I imagine you must be ridiculously tired. Let us know if we can do anything.

We'd love to visit this weekend. What do you think?

Love you.

11:27 AM  

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