Thursday, January 05, 2006

"Once the baby comes, you'll never do anything ever again. Ever."

People like to talk. They like to tell you how hard it will be, for example, to care for two newborns instead of one. They like to puff out their chest feathers and tell you all about their own experiences, usually semi-fictional accounts. I've been thinking about some of the things people told me when I was pregnant, and whether they were right or wrong.

Things people were wrong about regarding having a baby:
  • You'll never have time to sit down and watch a movie or TV together once the babies come.
    • Wrong. We have already curled up on the couch together and watched some movies while the babies were sleeping. The secret: do this instead of the dishes or cleaning.
  • You'll never sleep once the babies arrive.
    • Wrong and right. Some nights we get 7 hours (not consecutive), while other nights we get much less (like last night- damn, that sucked.). It just depends on the night.
  • You'll never have sex again once you have kids!
    • Wrong. I'm not saying my sex life is exactly red hot at the moment, but it certainly still exists
  • You've never loved anyone as much as you love your baby.
    • Wrong. I love SP as much as I love my babies, without a doubt. The difference would be that I loved my babies unconditionally right from the start.
    Things people were right about regarding having a baby:
    • Your own baby's crying doesn't irritate you the same way others' do.
      • Surprisingly true. I feel much more sympathetic and loving toward them when they cry than I would have expected.
    • Your own baby is the cutest thing in the world to you.
      • Oh yes. You cannot tell whether your baby is objectively cute or not (you assume it is, of course). Think of the Seinf+ld episode in which the adoring parents make all their friends look at their hideous baby, not having a clue as to how ugly it is.
    • You will talk endlessly to others about the babies' poop as well as details of their birth, realizing all too late that your friends are not nearly as interested in hearing about these things as you are talking about them.
      • This is all too clearly illustrated when your husband starts talking about the details of how they made the incisions during your C-section to an old college buddy you run into on the subway. Believe me, the dood doesn't want to know.
    • You will not shower as often as you used to once the babies arrive.
      • All too true. Thank the lord for deodorant.
    • You will never know what it's really like to worry until you have kids.
      • What more can I say?


    Anonymous bri said...

    First of all, I am mightily impressed by your ability to do bullet points.

    Very interesting points and a great glimpse into what's really going on over there. Sometimes I try to imagine and start feeling all panicky and worried about you. So this is good. Other than the worry thing, I mean.

    8:26 AM  
    Blogger Martha said...

    I can not wait!

    10:51 AM  

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